I haven't been updating here as much as I'd like to lately. To tell you the truth, the whole proposition 8 thing really disheartened me for a while. It made me angry that so many Americans would go so far out of their way just to hurt me and those like me. I like to think that I'm fair minded, and that I understand why some people disapprove of my sexual preference. But in reality, I don't. Not really. I mean, it doesn't bother me that they are heterosexual and even though I find that lifestyle distasteful, I wouldn't walk across the street to keep them from being able to be happy. I certainly wouldn't carry hateful posters, yell ugly remarks at them, and spend my hard earned money to make sure that they can't be together in same meaningful way that I could.
Maybe that's the problem for us. We aren't willing to attack their rights, as a means of asserting our own. Perhaps begging for table scraps off of their buffet isn't the answer. If equal protection under the law is the basis for our argument for equality, then maybe the strategy we need to employ is attacking those rights that they enjoy that we don't, instead of begging for them.
We can't marry and have the benefits of that union, then instead of this endless fight to marry why not just start demanding that the rights that they enjoy that we are denied be removed from the union of marriage? If you MUST be married to have survivor benefits of social security, then that benefit should no longer be given on the basis of marriage. If every American can't have it, then none should.
Perhaps by trying to take away those things that make marriage such a valuable and desirable institution, we can make them understand just how important marriage really is to every American. Not just to heterosexuals.
If they are going to use religion to continue this campaign of hate and prejudice, then I don't want to make spreading those views to another generation any easier for them. I don't want their religious views to be taught or respected in any venue or institution that my tax dollars support (especially since I have to pay more of those taxes than they do, as a "single" person). I've never voted to keep prayer out of schools, or to limit religious organizations tax free status' before. But my thinking on that issue is changing. The freedom to exercise one's faith is important, I believe that. But if your faith demands that you persecute and hurt others, then there must be limits.
I think I'm just getting tired of waiting. Tired of trying to be patient and hope that as time passes people will change. We keep pointing at the inequality that exists between us, and trying to change minds without being as brutal and hateful as those who oppose us. I doubt we ever could be. I don't think that my circle of gay friends even have it in them to mirror the mindset of the people who apparently hate and fear us more than anything else.
Christmas is right around the corner, and my partner of 7 years and I are still here. Still together. Still loving each other and trying to build a life and future together. I don't know what I'll get her this year, but I know what it won't be. It won't be that one thing that I've always wanted to give her, a wedding ring.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Gay Rights Are Civil Rights
Gay Rights Are Civil Rights
by: Dr. Maura J. Cullen
(This article is from ArticleCity.com and is written by Dr. Maura J. Cullen)
Our biggest tragedy as a country was the enslavement of Black people who were stolen from their native lands and forced into slavery. In order to end this tyranny, courageous people risked their own lives in what has become known as the Civil Rights Movement. This movement was forged on the backs of People of Color and has become a force that has changed the face of America. Because of its success it now serves as a powerful model for every civil rights movement that followed.
There is a saying that history repeats itself and without a doubt that is what is currently taking place in this country with the gay rights movement. People who supported slavery, denied white women and people of color the right to vote, were all on the wrong side of history by denying people’s basic human and civil rights. And today, there are many who are still on the wrong side of history by denying gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans basic civil rights.
We are governed, in theory, by a document that allows all citizens the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and where all people are treated equal. Yet it is very apparent that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans are exempt from these equal rights. That is how it is now, but not as it always will be, because as history demonstrates, justice will eventually prevail, but unfortunately it always takes a fight.
This country was founded on the premise of protecting the minority view, of allowing all voices to be heard and to provide equal rights for ALL Americans. Democracy has never been a majority rules proposition and nor should it be. Many fled to this country to escape religious persecution. Now, many of those very people’s ancestors are the same people persecuting gay Americans today.
Same-Sex Marriage
The religious-right has taken it upon themselves to be the torchbearers for denying equal rights to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans. They assert that permitting same-sex marriage would jeopardize the institution of marriage. It is challenging to take this claim seriously given that heterosexuals have a divorce rate of close to 50%. You can’t blame that failure on gay people. In fact, it is hard to believe that same-sex couples could do any worse than their heterosexual counterparts in the marriage department.
As a lesbian couple, my wife Dawn and I were legally married in the great state of Massachusetts, which was the first state to permit same-sex marriage with all of the rights and benefits that go along with it. We have since moved to Maryland, a state that does not recognize nor permit same-sex marriage. As a result, we no longer have the rights that we had once experienced in Massachusetts including health care. We are now once again relegated to second-class status.
Yet history is repeating itself. Just as same-sex couples are now denied the right to marry in most states, there was another group of people in our history as a nation who were also denied the right to marry.
It was not until 1967 that inter-racial marriage was legalized. As a result of the case of Loving v Virginia, all race-based legal restriction on marriage were prohibited. Opponents believed inter-racial marriages to be repugnant, abhorrent and an attack on morality. Sound familiar?
In 2006, South Africa became the 5th country to legalize same-sex marriage. This is impressive given apartheid was legal until 1994 and where the impact of unequal treatment is still apparent today. South Africa has done what the United States has yet to fully grasp; they have taken a lesson from their own history and are determined not to repeat that painful chapter by imposing injustice on a different group of people.
Military—Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Until the 1954 decision of Brown v The Board of Education, legal segregation existed in the U.S. Military. Black soldiers have participated and died in every war this country has fought and has done so with distinction.
The 1994 passage of the Clinton’s administration of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."
To date, over 12,500 gay and lesbian soldiers have been forced out of the military as a result of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”. These soldiers have served with distinction. They are willing to lay down their lives to bring democracy to other countries, yet they are denied equal treatment in their own. Military men and women have been trained to handle all situations and yet we have dismissed 12,500 well-trained soldiers because some of the heterosexual soldiers are afraid they may make a pass at them? The United States military is over-taxed with our involvement in so many regions of the world and we cannot afford to lose so many qualified and talented people.
It is time that we as a country learn from our past mistakes. These mistakes have taken a huge toll on all of us. Some history does not bear repeating.
About The Author
Dr. Maura Cullen is the author of the bestselling book "35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say That Widen the Diversity Gap". She is a highly-acclaimed diversity trainer who has educated and inspired people worldwide in over 400 universities and organizations on how to be more inclusive and authentic when communicating with others. With over 25 years of experience as a keynote speaker and her doctorate in Social Justice & Diversity Education from the University of Massachusetts , she is widely considered one of the nation's foremost authorities of diversity issues today. Visit http://www.TheDiversitySpeaker.com
by: Dr. Maura J. Cullen
(This article is from ArticleCity.com and is written by Dr. Maura J. Cullen)
Our biggest tragedy as a country was the enslavement of Black people who were stolen from their native lands and forced into slavery. In order to end this tyranny, courageous people risked their own lives in what has become known as the Civil Rights Movement. This movement was forged on the backs of People of Color and has become a force that has changed the face of America. Because of its success it now serves as a powerful model for every civil rights movement that followed.
There is a saying that history repeats itself and without a doubt that is what is currently taking place in this country with the gay rights movement. People who supported slavery, denied white women and people of color the right to vote, were all on the wrong side of history by denying people’s basic human and civil rights. And today, there are many who are still on the wrong side of history by denying gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans basic civil rights.
We are governed, in theory, by a document that allows all citizens the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and where all people are treated equal. Yet it is very apparent that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans are exempt from these equal rights. That is how it is now, but not as it always will be, because as history demonstrates, justice will eventually prevail, but unfortunately it always takes a fight.
This country was founded on the premise of protecting the minority view, of allowing all voices to be heard and to provide equal rights for ALL Americans. Democracy has never been a majority rules proposition and nor should it be. Many fled to this country to escape religious persecution. Now, many of those very people’s ancestors are the same people persecuting gay Americans today.
Same-Sex Marriage
The religious-right has taken it upon themselves to be the torchbearers for denying equal rights to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans. They assert that permitting same-sex marriage would jeopardize the institution of marriage. It is challenging to take this claim seriously given that heterosexuals have a divorce rate of close to 50%. You can’t blame that failure on gay people. In fact, it is hard to believe that same-sex couples could do any worse than their heterosexual counterparts in the marriage department.
As a lesbian couple, my wife Dawn and I were legally married in the great state of Massachusetts, which was the first state to permit same-sex marriage with all of the rights and benefits that go along with it. We have since moved to Maryland, a state that does not recognize nor permit same-sex marriage. As a result, we no longer have the rights that we had once experienced in Massachusetts including health care. We are now once again relegated to second-class status.
Yet history is repeating itself. Just as same-sex couples are now denied the right to marry in most states, there was another group of people in our history as a nation who were also denied the right to marry.
It was not until 1967 that inter-racial marriage was legalized. As a result of the case of Loving v Virginia, all race-based legal restriction on marriage were prohibited. Opponents believed inter-racial marriages to be repugnant, abhorrent and an attack on morality. Sound familiar?
In 2006, South Africa became the 5th country to legalize same-sex marriage. This is impressive given apartheid was legal until 1994 and where the impact of unequal treatment is still apparent today. South Africa has done what the United States has yet to fully grasp; they have taken a lesson from their own history and are determined not to repeat that painful chapter by imposing injustice on a different group of people.
Military—Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Until the 1954 decision of Brown v The Board of Education, legal segregation existed in the U.S. Military. Black soldiers have participated and died in every war this country has fought and has done so with distinction.
The 1994 passage of the Clinton’s administration of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."
To date, over 12,500 gay and lesbian soldiers have been forced out of the military as a result of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”. These soldiers have served with distinction. They are willing to lay down their lives to bring democracy to other countries, yet they are denied equal treatment in their own. Military men and women have been trained to handle all situations and yet we have dismissed 12,500 well-trained soldiers because some of the heterosexual soldiers are afraid they may make a pass at them? The United States military is over-taxed with our involvement in so many regions of the world and we cannot afford to lose so many qualified and talented people.
It is time that we as a country learn from our past mistakes. These mistakes have taken a huge toll on all of us. Some history does not bear repeating.
About The Author
Dr. Maura Cullen is the author of the bestselling book "35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say That Widen the Diversity Gap". She is a highly-acclaimed diversity trainer who has educated and inspired people worldwide in over 400 universities and organizations on how to be more inclusive and authentic when communicating with others. With over 25 years of experience as a keynote speaker and her doctorate in Social Justice & Diversity Education from the University of Massachusetts , she is widely considered one of the nation's foremost authorities of diversity issues today. Visit http://www.TheDiversitySpeaker.com
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Proposition 8 Upheld In California
I'm dissappointed to say the least that the California Supreme Court upheld proposition 8 in California today. But it isn't quite the victory that the Conservative and Religious right think it is. Reading through the decision comments it becomes apparent that the Justices were not repealing a gay couples rights as a married couple in California, but simply the ability to call their union a marriage.
I have to tell you, that if that were the case federally, I wouldn't care what they called my union with my partner. Give me the same rights and protections under the law (including the tax laws), and you can have your claim to the term marriage. I'll take Civil Union, Domestic Partnership, whatever. It's the rights that are conveyed by the union, not what it's called. That clearly was protected by the Justices comments.
I have to tell you, that if that were the case federally, I wouldn't care what they called my union with my partner. Give me the same rights and protections under the law (including the tax laws), and you can have your claim to the term marriage. I'll take Civil Union, Domestic Partnership, whatever. It's the rights that are conveyed by the union, not what it's called. That clearly was protected by the Justices comments.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tired Old Arguments
I was cruising around the internet today, reading my favorite blogs, and then heading over to facebook to catch up with friends. I clicked on the twitter application link there and was browsing through topics on their page, and found this one below. I was in a pretty good mood today. I had spent a great weekend at home with my partner, celebrated Mother's day with my Mom, gone fishing and actually caught fish! Then, I read this thread on twitter. Not is such a good mood anymore. Disgusted actually. You'll just have to read it for yourself, and you'll see what I mean. Post after post after post of hatefull, prejudiced, angry statements back and forth between "Christians", and "Homosexuals". The same usual arguments, that start out sounding caring and disintegrate into inflamed and agitated statements when no one agrees with anyone else. Christians and Homosexuals.......Man, you're really screwed if you happen to be both.
Here's the link to the twitter discussion on facebook.
Here's the link to the twitter discussion on facebook.
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